Dear Reader,

There are many reasons why we are attracted to other people. Our attractions may be fueled by someone's "classic" beauty, or by the details of her or his face, body, and gestures that are what make each of us unique and intriguing. We may appreciate someone's sensitivity, creative side, intellect, or her or his engaging way of telling a story. You have told Alice how beautiful, how tall, and how smart you are. But relationships develop based on much more than these objective traits.

How would you describe your behavior when you are with other people? Are you warm and friendly? Do you introduce yourself and invite conversation, or wait for others to make the first move? How do you show people that you are interested in what they have to say? Think about what makes you feel good when you are talking with other people. One of the most successful ways to increase people's interest in you is to sincerely communicate your interest in them. Although you may not realize it, you may be giving off signals to others that make it difficult for them to approach you. By reaching out to them with a genuine smile, you can show that you are accessible and down-to-earth.

Sometimes this can be hard, though. Perhaps you are so nervous about how you look and how you are behaving that you don't notice when a potential love-interest is testing the waters. Many couples meet through activities which keep them focused on a mutual goal, and allow them to just "be themselves." Maybe you love to sing and there's a chorus at your school or local community center you can join. Or, maybe you could join a book discussion group, or take a photography course. Volunteer work — reading to the elderly, coaching soccer, delivering meals to people who are too sick to leave home — can make you feel good, and feeling good is always contagious. Whatever the activity, there are sure to be lots of new, interesting people with which to share your experiences. p

Talk with your friends about what it is that they were attracted to in you, and how they think you are seen by other people. The likelihood is that there is more to their interest in you than how you look on the outside. They may have some insight into how you can make romantic connections, using the same skills you use to make friends. And who knows? Maybe they'll tell you that they know of tons of guys who want to ask you out, but who just don't have the guts!

For more practical advice, check out these two books which have helped a lot of other people discover new relationships, and themselves in the process: