Dear Reader,

While anal play may be considered kinky and somewhat taboo, it's a sexual practice that more than a few men and women, regardless of sexual orientation, enjoy. In men, this potent pleasure point is the prostate, which is found inside their anal canal. The prostate's primary function, however, is to aid in reproduction. It does this by secreting a fluid into semen before ejaculation occurs, helping with sperm mobility and prolonging the life of the sperm once it leaves the penis.

Before anal play, it can be helpful for your partner to urinate and/or have a bowel movement before you begin. You can cut and file smooth your fingernails as well, so that there are no rough or jagged edges. Relaxation is also important, minimizing or preventing the possibility of tearing the thin lining of the rectum, and setting the stage for pleasure. Some people relax by taking a warm bath. Others begin by sensuously massaging their partner's body, slowly leading to the butt and inner thighs, using or adding massage oil or lubricant. For safer anal play, you can wear a latex glove with a dab of water-based lubricant on it.

When you are both ready, you can begin massaging your partner's prostate externally. Using your index and middle fingertips, you can touch, rub, stroke, or press his perineum (the area of skin from underneath his testicles to his anus), trying various sensations and pressures. Using your other hand, you can stroke other parts of his body for additional arousal. This is the beginning of the massage, so encourage your partner to communicate with you about what feels good to him.

As your partner begins to enjoy the sensations, using water-based lube, gradually insert your finger(s) into his anus. You may both need to experiment with various positions that allow for easy access. In the meantime, you can begin with him lying on his back. Insert your finger(s) about an inch or so, and when your partner is comfortable, move your finger(s) in an upward motion along the wall of the rectal lining that faces the front of his body. Try to locate a round bulb of tissue