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My sister-in-law is scheduled to be married this spring. At the church
rehearsal last Saturday, the "groom-to-be" showed up an hour and 40
minutes late, and then did not want to practice. He has been making
comments to his friends that he does not want to get married. Do you
think he is just getting cold feet, or do you think it's more than that?
We are afraid he just won't show up at the church. My sister-in-law seems
oblivious to all of this, or else she tries to explain away his remarks.
Should we be more forceful in trying to get them to sit down and really
talk this out, or just show up at the church and hope for the best?
Signed,
Anxious Bridesmaid
Dear Anxious Bridesmaid,
Alice defers to her print-oriented predecessors on this one, Dear Abby
and Ann Landers, who recently printed a very similar question in one of
the daily newspapers. The question was opened up to readers, and the
answer was overwhelmingly, talk with the bride. Find out how she feels
about getting married to her fiance and about how he treats her with
respect to their upcoming marriage. Have they ever discussed his attitude
and feelings about getting married? If not, tell her what you have
noticed in a frank, open, and more direct way. Talk with the bride-to-be,
not the betrothed together. She is your priority.
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